why young women are anxious?
We wake up tired, hate our jobs, scroll endlessly on social media. We date without direction. We numb ourselves with alcohol, overwork, shopping, and meaningless sex...
Her name is Mira. She wakes up at 6:00 AM in her usual sluggish mood. She’s tired and unhappy about going to work (as usual). But she has bills to pay, loans to repay, and her mouth to feed, so she forcefully drags herself out of bed and rushes inside the shower. She skips the most important meal of the day because she’s already running 15 minutes late. Tired and hungry. She greets her colleagues with a pretentious smile, “Good morning”, but inside, she’s lamenting. She has nearly a hundred clients to call before the afternoon. Finally, it’s lunchtime. She eats alone, spending 30 minutes of her 1-hour break scrolling on TikTok and the other half on Instagram. As she looks at their glamorized lives, she begins questioning her worth again. Tired. Not good enough, and Non-stop thinking. She looks at the fancy restaurants and places that those girls went to. The 6 ft 3” men they were marrying, and their lofty weddings on the beach coasts. She notices the Dior bags and designer dresses that they’re always wearing and wonders when she could also dress like that. She feels even more unworthy looking at their perfect faces and idealized bodies. “They got the perfect life.” She thought, “When can I also live this way?” After her shift ends, she picks up a bottle of vodka at the liquor store before heading home. Her hook-up buddy is coming over tonight. She thought her overly anxious and stressful state would dissipate now that she was in the company of a romantic partner. But after their usual fun, she feels worse. Tired. Not good enough. Empty.
Young modern women are more anxious than ever before. And I think ‘anxiety’ hardly captures the ache/conflict that some of us are facing. We are the most liberated, yet barely holding it together. We have birth control pills, autonomy, bank accounts, degrees, and jobs, so why do a vast number of women seem so anxious all the time?
growing awareness of our unlimited freedom
Maybe it’s the growing awareness of our unlimited freedom to do whatever we please, express ourselves however we want, or go wherever our hearts lead us that’s fueling our anxiety. What I mean is that we know the world is open to us. We can travel, start businesses, dress how we want, and reinvent ourselves at any moment. But in reality, most women don’t have the financial resources to afford their ideal lifestyle presented on Instagram. Some women are barely scraping by while allowing themselves to be pressured into attaining everything all at once. And so I think that dissonance between what we know is possible and what we can actually afford, combined with constant messages that we’re not enough, creates a deep sense of anxiety and unhappiness in women. And I have other reasons as to why women are so anxious these days, as well as solutions to eliminate anxiety in our lives, so continue reading.
the struggle for work-life balance
Contrary to what we’ve been told, we can’t do it all or have it all, at least not all at the same time. It’s challenging to balance a demanding executive role or even a basic 9-to-5 job while also being a devoted mother and homemaker. Something usually has to give or be compromised. Though a lot of younger women haven’t gotten married with kids, they also find it difficult to keep up with career demands, social and creative life, and societal expectations. Logically speaking, there are only 24 hours in a day, 7-9 hours are supposed to be dedicated to a good night's rest, and the remaining 15 hours should be spent on what matters the most. Having our energy spent in a million different directions will burn us out.
The culture keeps demanding more than what we were ever meant to carry because we keep telling everyone that we can do it all, no one gets hurt, no problem mon! We’re becoming increasingly anxious because we also feel obligated to keep up with the evolving appearances of feminism. We have to do more outside of the home to prove our worth to society. The struggle to balance the demands of work, the demands of home, and the demands of people’s expectations is also a valid reason modern women struggle with anxiety today. Add financial stress on top of it.
financial strain disturbs women more than men.
Money can be a stressor for everyone, but studies show that financial hardship psychologically affects women more than men. A possible reason behind this is that women, by nature, like being and feeling secure, and money is a means to attain security. That’s why women prefer working, high-earning men. See the table below of everyday financial events that upset women vs men. Combine this with the increasing
cost of living, not earning enough income to begin with, the natural desires and pressures to buy beauty products, clothes, shoes, handbags, jewelry, home goods, and all other manner of items to look our best and better than the girl next door, and ensuring our spaces look good too. Not being able to live the way we want because of financial restraints heightens anxiety.
Anxiety is becoming more prevalent in Gen Z, who think that they need to buy excessive, superficial items to keep up with the ever-changing Instagram aesthetics. Additionally, young girls are taking out massive loans for educational and car purchases that they must repay. This burden keeps them trapped in the workforce and toxic environments, further exacerbating anxiety. Also, given that young women (and men) are marrying at a later date, many of whom remain single, the harsh reality is that not having that supportive partnership leaves many women to carry all their financial burdens by themselves.
social media, pride, and performative reels
If we’re not careful enough, we allow social media to make us feel like failures. Like we have not done anything meaningful and exhilarating in life. Like you’re missing out big time. We often forget that most social media users only show their highlight reels—the cool moments of their lives, which are often performative. Research shows that females are more likely to become anxious and depressed after scrolling through social media. And the reason for this, I believe, is that women are more emotional and relational by nature. And this is not a bad thing. It simply means we have to be careful of the people and things we allow to trouble our spirit and influence our emotions. I said earlier that the anxiety women are experiencing may also be due to the dissonance between their desired goals and the resources to get there. And witnessing other women on social media achieving their goals and living their “dream life” can have us feeling awful.
But I must also say something important. We often talk about flashy pride in men, but barely talk about it in women. The way pride shows up in women is usually subtle, hidden behind beauty and aesthetics. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok are the go-to for some women to place their pride and lavishness on full display. Pride craves attention, admiration, and praise. It likes to flaunt itself to the world. So, another reason some contemporary women seem to be anxious and unhappy might be that they desire to showcase their pride in the same way some girls do on social media.
hook-up culture and birth hormone pills
Lastly, the sexual revolution expressed in birth control pills and hook-up culture has left women hormonally imbalanced, broken, and exhausted. One major side effect of hormonal contraceptives is that they increase anxiety and depression in women. I don’t see how the emotional instability caused by the long-term use of contraceptives and the emotional toll of casual sex benefits women. Not to mention other negative side effects and consequences. If anyone benefited the most from the sexual revolution, it would be those men who are glad to receive sex without commitment and without assuming the sacrificial duties of a provider, protector, leader, husband, father. Women have been fed the lie that engaging in casual sex would make us feel happy and empowered.
Young women are chemically, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually bonding themselves to men who don’t have their best interests at heart. No wonder hook-up regrets are so high! According to this study, “casual sex is associated with psychological distress, including anxiety and depression, as well as low self-esteem and reduced life satisfaction,” and women are the most affected. Being an inherently emotional and relational creature, we were meant to love and be loved in a safe, secure, and healthy relationship. This is beneficial for both the minds and spirits of women and men. When we give ourselves wrongly, it only breeds a sense of shame, anxiety, and emptiness.
Stop being so anxious. Anxiety is also a sign of spiritual decline, and the solutions.
Beyond the common causes of anxiety in modern women is a spiritual issue. We are growing more anxious as we detach from the Creator. We are removing God from every facet of our lives, especially concerning identity and relationships. God made man and woman for Himself, and the more we drift away from the Father, the more restless we become. If more men and women return to His words and love, we may come to realize that we didn’t have to allow that situation to get the better of us. We don’t have to carry the world on our shoulders. We wouldn’t continue making certain decisions that don’t serve us well. When a woman comes back to God, she returns to a part of herself that acknowledges her sin and her need for a Savior. She becomes less anxious and more grateful and fulfilled.
There are other practical ways we can reduce anxiety in our lives. First, each of us must identify the root cause behind our anxiety. Does it stem from difficulties balancing professional and personal lives? The pressure to meet people’s expectations? Does it stem from financial struggles? Uncertainty about the future? The longing for a companion, a family, a home? Is it rooted in shame and feelings of unworthiness? Wondering if God really loves and sees you? Will He provide and care for you? Point out the cause, pray about it, and take daily measures to reduce your feelings of anxiety.
If you think you became anxious after scrolling social media, simply remove yourself from the app or unfollow certain accounts. Protect your peace by curating what you consume. If you find it challenging to balance work and personal life, choose to prioritize what matters most to you. What will bring you deeper, long-lasting satisfaction? Usually, this surrounds faith, family, marriage, and meaningful experiences.
Financial struggle is a leading cause of anxiety. We can choose to navigate this season by not allowing the size of our bank account to define our worth. We can practice living below our means, saving and investing early, and avoiding unnecessary debt. We can get resourceful and creative, focusing on one major task/project at a time to provide or complement income.
Finally, hooking up and casual relationships breed anxiety due to the lack of clarity, commitment, and emotional safety. To avoid this, you must set strong emotional and physical boundaries. Know your values and don't settle for situations that offer temporary attention. If your faith is important to you, let it guide your standards. Also, I love engaging in activities and hobbies that promote well-being and laughter even amid uncertainties. You can try that as well.
Sadly, Mira’s story captures what many young women are experiencing today. We wake up tired, hate our jobs, scroll endlessly on social media, following people’s online lives to a T. We date without direction. We numb ourselves with alcohol, overwork, shopping, and meaningless sex. We’re exhausted, overstimulated. All the while, we carry the pressure to look happy, successful, and put-together. Let’s not fool ourselves. Behind the makeup filters and achievements is our silent cry for something worthwhile. Long-lasting. Peaceful.
Anxiety doesn’t have to get the best of you and me. And I will put my hope in God!
So well written. Quite sad to learn about this. May these lonely lost young women find Christ. His love satisfies all needs.