What is true beauty in a woman?
Are women becoming shallower by the day? Should we not care about our physical beauty? What does the Bible have to say about feminine beauty?
In Western societies, beauty is often associated with youthfulness, slender physiques, and the promotion of European features. More than 70% of women 50+ and 72% of teenagers reported feeling pressured to adhere to the media’s unrealistic perception of beauty. In East Asia, beauty is often linked to having fair skin, a slim frame, and delicate facial features. In South Korea, nearly one-third of young women undergo costly cosmetic procedures in a relentless pursuit to achieve the beauty standards popularized by K-pop. In contrast, African cultures typically prefer their women with curvier and fuller frames.
We can see two things here:
The definition of beauty varies from culture to culture, and
The common thread is their high focus on physical appearance.
But is it inherently wrong that the world’s beauty standards are based predominantly on physical appearance? Physical beauty reflects God’s creativity in each one of us. Humans are naturally drawn to seek and embody beauty, and women, in particular, enjoy looking and feeling beautiful (I know I do!). So, it’s not an issue when society recognizes and acknowledges the physical attractiveness of women. However, it becomes concerning when we focus on outward appearance over the nurturing of inner qualities. I find it truly distressing to observe a rising fixation on ‘glitz and glamor’ among modern women. It makes me ponder, are we becoming more shallow by the day? Should we not care about our physical beauty and want to look our best? What does Scripture have to say about beauty? Matter of fact, what is true beauty? I wrote this newsletter to share with you a classic kind of beauty that goes way beyond surface level. One that is lasting and precious in God’s sight!
What is True Beauty in a Woman: A Biblical View
True beauty is the unfading qualities of a woman’s heart that reflect and honor Christ.
The most beautiful women in the Lord’s eyes are those who walk with the Son. The most beautifuls fear God, embody and exude the fruit of the Spirit (gentleness, love, patience, self-control, goodness, faithfulness, peace, and joy).
When we’re defining “true beauty” through a biblical lens, we need to go deeper than physical appearance. A woman who embodies true beauty (those imperishable Christlike qualities) surpasses earthly beauty ideals. She is eternally valued and celebrated by God. Scripture reminds us that:
A woman’s beauty is of a “gentle and quiet spirit,” which is precious in God's eyes.
"But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious." (1 Peter 3:4, ESV)
A woman’s beauty is expressed in her reverence for God.
Many women today are anti-God. There is nothing as beautiful as a woman showing reverence to a Holy God. Just as iron sharpens iron, I’m encouraged whenever I witness other women unapologetically living out the faith.
“Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who feareth the Lord, she shall be praised!” (Proverbs 31 :30 KJV)
Beautiful women make efforts to exemplify timeless qualities, which God cherishes more than physical appearance.
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7, NIV).
A woman’s beauty ought to be complemented with brains (wisdom), which she attains by pursuing God’s truth.
As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion (Proverbs 11:22)
Women of the Bible Who Embody True Beauty
When I examined the lives of beautiful women in the Bible, I realized that they were not known for their waist-to-hip ratio, the length of their hair, eye color, or the prominence of their cheekbones. Rather, the most beautiful women were known for their faithfulness, obedience, gentleness, and wisdom. Take Sarah, for example:
“And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise. (Hebrews 11:11 NIV)
While Sarah possessed physical beauty, it was her willingness to submit to her husband, Abraham, and her trust in God that made her truly beautiful. Also consider Esther:
“Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.” (Esther 4:16 NIV)
Esther was a very attractive woman. Though I find that it was her deep care, strength, and courage in saving her people from mass destruction that made her truly beautiful. I also admire Ruth.
But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Ruth 1:16 (ESV)
Even after her husband's death, Ruth decided to stay and care for her mother-in-law, Naomi. She worked hard and caught the attention of Boaz, who became the family’s redeemer. God rewarded Ruth’s loyalty by making her the great-grandmother of King David and part of Christ’s lineage. Let’s not forget about Mary:
And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her. (Luke 1:38 ESV)
When the angel Gabriel told her she would be pregnant with Jesus, Mary said, “Yes!” despite not knowing how everything would work. Her willingness to accept God’s will, coupled with her purity, humility, and meek spirit, reflects the kingdom-kind of beauty that we should strive for.
I could go on and on listing other remarkable and beautiful women, but the message I want to bring across is this: True beauty is the unfading qualities of a woman’s heart that reflect and honor Christ.
The Impact of Sin: Modern Women are Growing Shallow
When sin entered the world, it also corrupted people’s perception of beauty. We became prideful and obsessed with physical appearance. We start thinking too highly of ourselves, convinced that our character is admirable and that only our physical appearance requires most of our attention for improvement and enhancement. Somehow, we believe that we have reached the pinnacle of inner virtue and that our physical appearance needs to get in line. That is why the beauty industry is worth $736 billion. Because we continue to equate outward beauty with internal and eternal value.
I used to love scrolling on Facebook and Instagram back in the day. Social media used to be a fun and exciting way to connect with friends and share proudest moments. Unfortunately, this “light-hearted” mood of early internet socialization has shifted into a competitive, superficial, and exhaustive space for me. To answer the second-to-last question. Have women become more shallow? Yes. As the only thing many of us care about is looking good and better than the girl next door. We are constantly running after things like fame, fashion, and status—superficial things that can never satisfy the deepest longings of the heart. Young women are losing their way as fewer and fewer women pass on the baton of biblical womanhood and biblical femininity to them. Today’s women no longer know what makes them beautiful for the long haul. No wonder so many are anxious and depressed.
Nevertheless, I believe that the time has always been better for us, as women, to pause, look within, and rediscover ourselves in God.
Now, unto the final question before we go. Should Christian women care about physical beauty and appearance?
Yes. We should never feel guilty for wanting to look and feel our best. Physical beauty is a natural part of the feminine design by God. The very concept of ‘beauty’ is an attribute of God, who himself flows with glorious beauty. God is the inventor of beauty. He made women with both physical and spiritual beauty. However, He wants us to prioritize the unfading beauty of a gentle, quiet, submissive spirit.
Though our bodies get weary, wrinkle, and shall eventually fail, our souls will never be destroyed. So, doesn't it make perfect sense to prioritize our spiritual beauty so that you may share in the beauty that never dies?
My final words to you:
Take care of the body God gave you. Exercise, eat well, and feel free to beautify with makeup now and then. However, never lose sight of what makes you truly beautiful. For every 7 efforts on appearance, give 77 to cultivating a virtuous character.
Blessed, Ash. 🤍 I hope you find value in this one.