Why Modern Women are Remaining Childless | We Must Also Consider This Reason.
For so long, society has been suppressing a woman’s desire to be fruitful—and that’s why we need our mothers to NOT contribute to this destructive narrative.
My relative recently told me she never wants to have children. She believes that children are a burden, an obstacle to her freedom and autonomy.
Let me start by saying that I’m not a mother as yet, but a daughter and a sister.
Many of us are aware that the global fertility rate is gradually declining. It is predicted that by 2050, more than three-quarters of countries (155 out of 204) will have birth rates too low to sustain their populations. We have heard the factors contributing to this decline:
High cost of living & childcare
Career priorities
Delayed marriage & childbirth
Shift in family values
Work-life balance struggles
Access to contraception
Infertility issues
Changing lifestyle preferences
Climate change & resource scarcity
These are all valid reasons. However, in this article, I want to talk about a particular and maybe the most significant issue that adds to the fall of motherhood—The MOTHERS of daughters who don’t want to bear children.
The MOTHERS of the daughters who don’t want to bear children.
I remember when I was a little girl, I had a great passion for raising seven children. But as I approached my teen years and became more conscious of my environment, that desire began to fade.
When I observed the few mothers around me, including my own, I didn’t see their joy in being a mother. It’s like they would rather be somewhere else doing something else, not parenting.
I began to believe that children were a burden, obstacles rather than blessings or a source of joy to the mothers who bore them. To me, it seemed they had not delighted in their sacrifice.
And so I lost the spark for starting a family of my own. I lost the purpose of having sons and daughters. No one taught me or reflected to me how worthy, rewarding, and exhilarating it is to devote your body, time, and energy to the raising of the next generation. “Fulfillment wasn’t in childre,n” the atmosphere speaks loud, “but in career attainment”.
It was not until faith came to me, and I began walking with God, that my passion for children rekindled.
But I can’t stop thinking—what if more daughters saw the joy of motherhood reflected in their mothers? And what if more mothers shifted the atmosphere by demonstrating messages like:
“I love raising you,” instead of “You’re a burden.”
“I’m glad I chose this pat,h” instead of “I wish you weren’t my responsibility.”
“The sacrifice was worth it,” instead of “You’re an obstacle to my dreams.”
Then, perhaps the childlessness crisis wouldn’t be as extreme today.
I strongly believe that one of the main reasons many modern women are uninterested in having children is that they no longer see the value in bringing forth life. No one has passed on the baton of biblical womanhood to them, so they prioritize what they believe to be more valuable and fulfilling.
Likewise, I strongly believe that a woman’s upbringing can either inspire or demotivate her from starting a family of her own.
You may also like “the decline in femininity”.
For so long, society has been suppressing a woman’s desire to be fruitful, and that’s why we need our mothers to NOT contribute to that destructive narrative.
The other day I stumbled across a post by an Austrailian model and influencer. She shared with her 1.2 million subscribers 100+ reasons not to have kids. Her arguments against starting a family include some of these notable motives:
“They are your responsibility until the day you die”
“You are tired ALL the time”
“The world’s already overpopulated”
“You become a second priority to your partner”
“Kids can be ungrateful”
“They can poo inside of you”
“Face swelling”
“Holidays are easier, more fun without kids”
“You could get kidney stone from pregnancy”
“Their suffering is YOUR suffering”
“You could die during childbirth”
“No sex 6 weeks post birth”
“You have to go to your kid’s parents-teachers interviews”
“c-section scar”
“your vagina will be different post-natural birth”
“You will never be alone-Ever”
“You will cry..a Lot.”
“You will always get fomo”
Feel free to read the full list here.
I honestly find most of her reasons to be shallow and self-centered. However, I do share in the fear of potential complications during childbirth. But essentially, this model and my cousin share the same mindset and attitude toward children—they are not worthy of my time and devotion.
This perspective, while increasingly common, only tells one side of the story. While motherhood comes with challenges, I know it comes with more positives that shouldn’t be easily dismissed. I know this to be true because motherhood and family are God-made things, and what He made is very good.
For every reason we hear against having children, there are compelling reasons to embrace being fruitful, and I hope we lean toward the latter. Here are some of the top reasons why having children is a meaningful and rewarding journey:
We get to witness the miracle of life first-hand.
The excitement of their first time saying “mama” and “dada”
We get to share and pass down family values and wisdom.
Holidays and special occasions become more meaningful.
We’ll always have someone to share and enjoy life with.
Parenthood gives life a deeper sense of purpose.
We develop strengths and skills we never knew we had.
We’ll have a lifetime of unforgettable moments.
The pride and joy in seeing them develop their gifts and passions.
Their presence makes a house feel like a true home.
We can inspire and mentor them to make a difference in the world.
The impact we have on their lives will outlive us.
The joy of dressing them up in cute outfits.
They make the best little adventure buddies.
We’ll always have a reason to keep pushing forward.
Knowing you are their safe place is incredibly fulfilling.
The bond between mother and child is one of the strongest.
Watching them grow into amazing people is beyond rewarding.
Children are a gift from God – Psalm 127:3 says, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him.”
We are fulfilling God’s command – Genesis 1:28 instructs us to “Be fruitful and multiply.”
We are raising disciples for Christ and adding to the Kingdom of God (Matthew 28:19-20).
We develop a deepened understanding of sacrifice (Motherhood reflects Jesus’ sacrificial love for us).
We are glorifying God by raising children in His ways.
The list is inexhaustive, but the point is,
Mothers hold a great responsibility to pass on the POSITIVES of mothering—especially in today’s culture, where having children is the last thing on a woman’s bucket list, and where we’re constantly led to believe that starting a family is an environmental and economic burden.
During my time in school, I heard all about the benefits and rewards of being a doctor, a scientist, an engineer, a politician, of being rich and always looking attractive—but never have I heard about the joys and value of becoming a mother. Given this, it’s no surprise that fertility rates are steadily declining.
I truly hope this perspective begins to shift. I hope this article makes even a small difference in spreading the beauty of raising little humans. I hope the spirit of motherhood is rekindled, and that we never again lose sight of this unique and divine calling that God has ordained women to play.
If you like today’s message, feel free to comment, like, and share.
Until then, stay anchored.
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Wonderful, I also want to add that another thing that decreases women's interest in marriage and children is the way they see their communities treat women, don't appreciate women's efforts and even abuse women. When they see that women who pick the lifestyle of getting married and having children aren't even treated well, why should they be interested in it?
This is a beautiful article. I became a mother at 24 while all of my friends were building their careers, my husband and I started our family. I remember so many people being shocked that I had not decided to pursue a “meaningful” job. But the second my baby was placed in my arms, I understood what meaningful actually meant. I went on to have three more kids by the time I turned 30. (4 kids in 6 years) People thought we were nuts! So many kids… and I chose to homeschool them! My kids are now 10,8,6, and 4 and I am having the time of my life! They bring so much joy to our days together. They are wild, free, happy, and have given me more purpose and mission than anything else in life. They are an immense gift. ❤️ Appreciated all of your thoughts in this piece.